Wrong Side

I heard from God today and she looked the other way. "What have you become. Standing alone." 

I saw the Devil today and he told me "Your on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell." And with my arms wide open I'm becoming closer everyday to the end. Will anybody stop and help. Standing alone I am no hero. Is it right or wrong I can not tell. I'm not made of stone. Tomorrow will come a new day and a new hope but no one will help. I can already tell I'm getting closer everyday to the end.

Dark days

Today is not my day. The past come back to haunt, and without a doubt i cant shake this feeling. That feeling you get after you've been broken and tossed aside because your too tall, to fat, too many of anything, but remember "anybody be lucky to have you." Then why come back i dont like what you bring a plate full of why's and how's. Judy leave me alone i know i said we'd be friends but i need my time even if you don't need yours.

Tea Time

I've come to this place her and now for one sweet treat. Tea. An everlasting party that goes on in my mine serving this sweet treat. A naughty bashing hare stiring up things with a mad man of hats and sorts. Drinking and drinking this sweet treat. Tea. As you drink you sleep as you also you fall as you fall you began again down this hole of events again.

No one can see

No one can see, but you and me. Dreaming of the day when will break free. We've all gone mad inside. Dark and alone who knows anything else. I'm not the only one who thinks the rain will kill us all. This time this night the preservation will take us all. Take it one more step now down to the grave. The limits of the dead hear us as we scream. Taking us down to the ground to our home. We tried to tell you that the rain would kill us all.

Why how

Sometimes i wonder why? Why did he leave? Why do i miss him? Why does this keep happening to me? Then it becomes clear with how. How can i go on? How can i be happy again? How can i find me? Living life is hard and frustrating i wonder everyday why i feel this way and how to make it better. Life takes time i just hope i find mine by the end.

Perfect little girl

What is perfect? As a little girl shown how to be thin, popular, always having to have something new and perfect. As a little girl she wasn't perfect. Having my family torn apart loosing my best friend. It such a tired game that we play. Long hair and sweet attitude just a little girl wanting to fit in. Next few years go by she cuts her hair off changes the attitude to fit how others treat her not wanting to be noticed. Not wanting to be seen, tainted, or get any taller or bigger in the hips. More years go by as she tries to be herself and make others happy realizing it will never happen she is who she is. Tall, heavy set, strong, manly attitude, and doesn't take shit from anyone. She will never turn her back on herself again. She is free.

Standing Still

A broken piece of the road lies in front of me if I step one it I will fall. But going around is unknown and I could die. If I play this safe will I make it out? I watched you die, I heard you cry, you never thought of anyone else you just saw our pain. I'll never take another step, I'll never run away. I'll stay put and never forgive being ashamed I am afraid to run away. Do I step forward?

Sleep

As I lie awake at night waiting for my melatonin to dissolve in my mouth. It's strawberry flavor quivers over my tongue absorbing into my body trying to make me sleep. Will it succeed, will it make me tired and shut off my thoughts. These thoughts that keep me up, that drive me mad. Will this strawberry flavor pill take be off to dream land, or will it fail to send me away yet again. Is the mind to powerful to be over taken by the medicine, to take the thoughts away, to turn them off for some sleep. Yes sleep how long has it been sense I've enjoyed your sweet company. 

Experience

From experience in my life, my friends lives, and even the past lives. Sometimes you just need to move on from the past and into the new light of the present or even the lightly shined upon future. Things look scary and unforgiving, but life grows up it might be slow like a tree, but one day you'll grow to be an beautiful creature something to look upon in amazement.

Dreams

Dreams do come true even if they happen in this life or not. The sandman gives a hope to ours dreams through are sleep. Even if sometimes it looks dark we always come up on top. Looking for a brighter future through our dreams.

30 Seconds More

All I want is 30 seconds more. 30 seconds more to tell you how I feel. To tell you how much you mean. 30 seconds to say what I need to get out. 30 seconds to speak my mind. To tell what I'm thinking. To say it out loud. 30 Seconds To Say Something More.

Untiled

All that we know is everything you've ever told us, but what if you where wrong. Destroying everything in the children have ever thought up. Proper and Respectful is all that you've known you can't be blamed for destroying the colors. All that we know is the darkness that grows in the dark when no one looks taking control. Out of our minds come the imagination that we have so long lost. To save our lives we crawl into the holes we've dug up from the ground in our city of despair.

Alice

It's time to spill the truth. That there must be something wrong with me. Everything goes mad down where the rabbits come to play all night and day. Dreams become wild and free. Going down and down the hole. Singing at tea parties, running from the Queen, and away I go. Don't listen to what the cat says he smiles dangerously. We've spilled the madness all over this town now it's time to party until the sun drops dead. Play until the night ends scream until it happens again. Dreaming is taking down the walls of sanity. We are into the insane around this mad upside down world of ours. We are taking it back one tea party at a time.

Maybe We Are Sick

Are we all sick? The night's shadow chained to dull the pain. It won't be much longer now. It's tiring and sad when we all shutdown. Can you promise me we'll never get this sick. We can't undo what wee said years of struggle still ahead. We'll fake ourselves back to health. Struggling just to surviving as the blur of life goes by, and let the memories keep us company. Now all the kids have gone crazy. I don't tell the darkness let it have its way with us. We will not be giving up tonight. Don't make us say this. When the hope is in the morning sun we will fight on in the light.

Live On

When your broken and bitter inside. Reality may suck everything inside. Breaking down you don't want to fall apart now. Now when everything is going right where you need them to be. Your happy and now the same old things are happening again. Coming back to destroy you happiness. Again the nightmares come back to haunt you and everything that you've ever done wrong. "How dare you!" they scream at you never letting you sleep or forget. You must live with your mistakes as I must live with mine. Even though it seems you've done nothing wrong. Live on.

Insanity inside their minds

Sing along with me as we walk this road. Delivering to others hearts coming undone because it's to late to save everything from the dark inside. We though our demons where are friends while there pinning us again. The sweetness that lays beneath us drowns in the sour above. Soon we see that we are trying to hold it together. It's light just like a feather. It looks like we might not be getting better. Cover in smoke blocking our eyes from the light escaping from this fortnight. The insanity inside their minds confusing all of us into the dark.

Lost by all means

Lost by all means I can't find my way home. Scared and alone forever in the dark. Walking around in the night. Welcome to the nightmare in my head. There are monsters under my bed and in my head. Terrifying the good girl inside. You might not want to risk it but say hello to something scary. The creeps and chills you get under you skin and down your spine. So just give in you won't be sorry. Welcome to my evil sight. Taking away all thats bright. To cover up the light. There might be something wrong with me, but not tonight.

Move With Me

From night to day I watch as you move along all alone. If you've never been to the places that you've feared for so long. If you can't take it in then why step into the circle. So listen to my voice boys and girls I'll show you the way slowly we will move and break into the circle fighting and surviving again. I've seen this all before so please leave until this storm is over. There is a demon passing over so please leave until this storm is over because I want to take you away.

Misserable or Happy your choice

I was told dreams never last. That you only make it when you've accomplished something to everyone else. That it's better to quiet while your ahead. That hope is for fairy tales and childern. The question that comes to my mind after all this is then why is life worth living at this point? If dreams, hopes, accomplishments, and believing in the impossible means your a failure. Then I would rather be a failure and be happy than a perfect robot and be misserable. Its all about the choices you make and choose to fallow.

A loosing battle?

Standing where no one can see you hidden from all. Misunderstood and traped it seems. Nothing at all could possibly matter anymore right? I hate feeling like this I'm so tired of trying to fight this. The more I had the more I realize I'm loosing, but the battle isn't over yet I shall overcome this.

The Night

To nights the night, the night when we are going back, back to the days of chaos cheering through the crowds taking the nightmares away. We tried a different way being as the others halos above are heads running around sweetly through the meadows.  Now that we know what we lost through the change we are going back to the way things used to be. Causing your worst nightmares to run away from us. Saying goodbye to those we had meet through the eyes of the innocent and hopeful was difficult, but a necessary action to go back to are flames of chaos that we missed so much. The angels where fun to dance in the day, but we demons dance in the flames cheering on what is taken from others. The angels have the light we have the dark. Feeding on how good life feels. We may be demons but we  know how to protect from the nightmares that protrude into your life taking your sanity.

One month with you

04/14/14 The day you asked me to prom.

04/19/14 Our first date, slow song, and kiss.

04/22/14 The day asked me to be you girlfriend.

04/25/14 The day you protected me from my brothers words.

04/29/14 The day I meet your mom and was scared but you were there.

05/08/14 The day you stole my heart just by saying YOU LOVED ME.

05/11/14 The day you looked me in the eyes and called me beautiful and I believed it.

05/16/14 The day I realized I never wanted to loose you.

Every day you remind me that I am beautiful, smart, kind and most importantly LOVED. Sense meeting you I’m not depressed.

05/22/14 Will be our month of being together and already you’ve made me fall for you.

Untiltled

I wish you could see the pain you've caused me. Taken and thrown away at such a young age. Tried to see the light only to be tossed back inside. So alone and forgotten you've left me here to drown in your lies. Not to be carried away and loved, but to be tossed aside and destroyed

My Enemies

I am an enemy of everything My life is not for sale My heart is in this fight forever What can you take from me? When there’s not a single fucking day  I haven’t fought to stay alive? We’re finding hope in the hopeless I am still their voice that gets stuck in your head I am me And I have come to fucking scare you to death Because that’s what you deserve you disgusting piece of shit I know the only words that you have for me Are give up and get out You'd like to think that we've been beaten But we're here to stay  Forever and always Every single day Not giving up,  Living up all my dreams So go ahead and look like I’m inferior Condescension, Suffering, Callousness and Loathing Are the badges I have earned for my cause And I am finding hope within hatred A reason to persist, to push past everything We are here And we have come to scare you to death Because that’s what you deserve You fucking fake ass hypocrites I know the only words that you have for me Are give up and get out You'd like to think that we've been beaten But we're here to stay Forever and always So loud  We are the ones that you pushed away For drowning your voice out You’d like to think We've been defeated, But we’re here to stay Forever and always We've been through everything And we all have our scars We may be broken but you can’t kill all of us Think before you fucking speak I am no villain, think before you fucking speak People fear what they don’t understand And so now beauty has become the fucking beast I said go fuck yourself!  I know the only words that you have for me Are give up and get out You’d like to think That we've been beaten but we’re here to stay Forever and always So Loud We are the ones that you pushed away For drowning your voice out You’d like to think We've been defeated,  But we’re here to stay Forever and always

Allow Me To Dream

Allow me to dream for that’s all I have. No one to see nor to hear me. You can’t possibly know what it is to be me. How could you? You’re Mrs. Right while I am just alone in the dark left with my demons to desperately trying to live without a reason to play but yet isn’t that the reason all together. Without consequence can’t I fly. So hard to see. If I am dark then light me up and take me away.

What's To Become

Can you tell me what is to become of this? What will happen when I’m gone? Never again can I be reminded of the pain, torture, and misery you left me. To burry what once was you and me. Taking these chains away shall I awake form what I know or stay in the unreality of us. Tell me when it ends. For I know not when to run.

I'm Lost

I’m lost I don’t know where I am. Dark and alone I stand. Haunted by you, taken by you. Ripped apart by your ice cold heart. You’ve destroyed what little I had left. Helpless and fearful I run from the never ending pain and monsters you sent after me. While feeding off the pain and misery of other I will never be found.

I wish

I wish and wish upon a star to see the no longer to know when to run from my fright. To be beautiful and dream. Can’t you tell? Can’t you see?

To have you

Once I saw you I knew I must have you. Take you, trap you. Keep you to myself. For your beauty was unmatched to your kindness to everyone and everything. But could you love someone no a beast like me. I’ll take you away from everyone you love but also every judging eyes that have been laid on you. You’ll have nothing worth meaning to your life. For when I take you know I love you. Don’t let your fear of how I look and what I did destroy your beauty and kindness. I’d hate to throw something so amazing away because that would be my hellish nightmare.

The Rejects

How do you know?

Can you understand the pain?

The darkness of being alone?

A reject through and through.

As I create my own self your programs disolve.

Your perfection has a price and it's your life.

The Empty Picture (Short Story)

            The attack was over in seconds. Then he picked me up from the ground, a pool of blood from where I was just lying. A few weeks earlier I had taken pictures of Dominic Richards and his crew doing a “job”. I was heading to the police station when his crew found me and took me to him, where I was beaten up pretty good before he came into the room.

 “Are these the only copies?” His tone was gentler than I expected.

“And what if they aren’t you going to kill me so they don’t get around?”

“Ha-ha you sure have some balls kid. If I wanted to kill you I would have. So I’ll ask again are there any more copies?”

I spit the blood and saliva that had been collecting in my mouth into his face.

 “No there aren’t any more now let me go!”

He dropped me onto the floor with a loud thud. Slowly he got into his suit and I saw the holsters around his side holding two sliver pistols. I thought that was the end. He pulled out a handkerchief and whipped his face. A glare of anger was shot down at me.

 “Leave> I’m going to teach this maggot a lesson!”

His goons left the room and it was just us, his dark locks hanging in his face, the slight smile he had as he walked over to the door and locked it. He was beautiful for a guy. He walked calmly back over to me and bent down to look me in the face. He had his hand on my chin so I couldn't look away. His blue eyes were like ice cutting into my soul.

"So, maggot, you've got the balls to spit in my face and think you'll get away with it. I thought you would have been smarter than that. I was going to let you go pay you off to keep your mouth shut, but you had to fight back. Now I have to figure out something to do with you that you’re not going to like John.”

“How do you know my name?" I asked.

He had stood back up and grabbed his lighter from his jacket pocket along with something shiny. He was heating it up until it was burning red. Walking over to me he pinned me down quickly. He lifted up what was left of my shirt and burned a D.R, for Dominic Richards, into my skin. I didn't dare scream or tear up; I wouldn't let this monster see me like that.

 "You'll just have to stick around and see slave. Now won't you be a good boy for me?"

You Don't Know Anything

You don't know anything You don't know anything You don't know anything about me Once it starts, it never stops Discipline, it's all I'm not Can't help myself, you listening? Why can't I say just what I want? You don't know anything No, you don't know anything about me Steady damage, cross the line What's become clearly defined
Steady damage, cross the line What's become clearly defined Chain me up, hold me down Just let me go, there's always more I want it all excluding you Losing control, so construed
You don't know anything No, you don't know anything about me Steady damage, cross the line
What's become clearly defined Steady damage, cross the line What's become clearly defined All that is done is left behind You had it all now I got mineI can't wait to see your face when I make it without you
Nothing seems to go your away, you'll never amount to Get away, get away from meGet away (never amount to)
Get away, get away from meGet away (never amount to shit Steady damage, cross the line What's become clearly definedSteady damage, cross the lineWhat's become clearly definedYou don't know anything

Infection

The infection spreads through my veins moving slowly through like a dark sludge. There is no escape from this. All I can do is hold on until he gets here for me like he promised he would. I tried so hard to escape my fate. The last thing I wanted to do was leave him here alone in the war between all of us. I don’t know if I can hold on anymore I’m feel so heavy my heartbeat is fading. I know I’m going to die. Just a little long I tell myself until he gets here. I see him in the distance running towards me covered in blood no matter. I’m slipping away it won’t be much longer. He lunges to the ground holding me in his arms. I hold him tight against me whispering with my final breath “Live because I will be back for you. Live because I cannot, because I love you.” As I go I hear his screams I fall into darkness, but I  find peace knowing our love will bring us back together one day.

Devouring Hearts Dream

Devouring the dreams I had the nightmares to he left me with nothing.
He dropped my heart on the ground like nothing had ever happened. He took my everything away. He left me with a hole in my chest bleeding and nowhere to go I couldn’t go back and I couldn’t go forward not until I got my revenge. He had been sitting in his corner of despair wanting more victims to come into his pit of internal darkness. I sank my teeth into his heart killed his victims so he couldn’t feed on their misery. For that’s all he wanted misery. Well all I wanted is his blood to flow like a river and take him to the darkness he showed me. His pit would be his distortion if I had anything to do it and I did. I took him to hell for that’s all he showed me was hell.

Love/Hate

I hate you for the sacrifices you made of me. I hate you for every time you ever bled for me. I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me. I hate you for never taking control of me. I hate you for always saving me from myself. I hate you for always choosing me and not someone else. I hate you for always being pulled me back from the edge. I hate you for every good word you’ll ever said
I'll bleed you dry now Blood, blood, blood, pumped mud through my veins. Shut your dirty, dirty mouth. It’s not that easy. Blood, blood, blood, pumping mud through my veins.  If I'm a dirty, dirty girl. I want it filthy. I love you for everything you ever took from me. I love the way you dominate and you violate me. I love you for every time you gave up on me. I love you for the way you look when you lie to me. I love you for never believing in what I say. I love you for never once getting me my way. I love you for never being delivered from pain. I love you for always driving me insane. I’ll bleed you dry now
Blood, blood, blood, pump mud  through my veins. Shut your dirty, dirty mouth. I'm not that easy. Blood, blood, blood, pump mud through my veins. I'm a dirty, dirty girl. I want it filthy.

Save Me.

If I walk through the shadows will there be no light?

If I take your hand will it give me a fright?

Can you tell me kind sir?

Can you tell if I’m alone and lost?

That I’ve wept and lost myself.

Is there no end to the suffering I face?

It’s as if you’ve gone without a trace though.

Locked up and now alone.

Can I be saved?

If no one has ever stayed can I still survive?

Saved by some and lost by many.

We are people

In high school many think they are alone and not here. We all have faces and that make us a group of never ending life. We will make it through all the drama, pain, happy, and suffering. We are all people and we all deserve to treated as such. We all have faces, We all have feelings so lets make everyone feel as though they are wanted just as we want to be wanted ourselves.

Even though you may be falling

Sometimes your lost. Falling down the neverending hole.
Someone is there. Someone is here to be your light for the darkness.
Everything you have fought for is not in vane. You are a fighter so keep fighting and if you shall fall know that I am there to catch you.

F.E.A.R (For Every and All Religion)

Inside us, we feel the screaming, the frights, the nightmares.

Never ending tunnels that cause us to scream, to run.

Having telling this, would you believe that F.E.A.R can control someone?

We are the Wild ones. They look up to us Rebels, us Outcasts.

We expect a battle for humanity is about to begin. A vague sense of safety will ignite you in an unseen shadow without a slither of doubt. Let the thoughts slip away, and remain calm.

Stay close to F.E.A.R. Only we can protect ourselves.

Fearful of the lives they have chosen for us.

The rebels claim their brave new world is upon us.

They lay their claim, but it is false.

You will place your trust in F.E.A.R. You must!

We are not interested in the possibility of defeat, nor within the silence of a deserted ally, nor the clamor of a crowded street.

But F.E.A.R. cannot be vanquished,

We cannot be destroyed.

F.E.A.R. will rise up again and control the masses, take back the power, and crush the insurgent horde.

As war fades into the distant memories of enlightened pigs and open wounds, will the Rebels begin to perish one by one?

Should we feel the fear of dying young, not ignoring the chance to scream?

Lie awake at night in terror, admitting F.E.A.R. will return to glory.

The story of Rebels who set out to conquer will finish in blood.

But in the end we have fought with flesh and blood.

We commanded an army.

If we fall shall we rise back up and relive our glory?

As the war ends, F.E.A.R states:

“If rebels have defeated our illustrious armies, they have damaged our intention of an ugly and defiant malevolence. All that we may love and care for may sink into a dark age; made more sinister by the light of perverted science. Will we perish and starve in captivity? You will never win your freedom. You will never escape... F.E.A.R.”

If we may lie in the face of F.E.A.R, will we rise to the occasion?

Will we prove to be known as The Prophet, The Mystic, The Mourner, The Deviant, and The Destroyer?

For if we prove to be Angels or Beasts, will we align to the power of F.E.A.R

Caught in Between my Enimies

Caught in Between my Enimies

Fear is war boiling down to nothing.

It’s me how caused the war.

The smell of death lingers in the air.

Bells go off to the bombs like a song.

Fear feeds off the touch of your fate.

Death sees a beauty in his future.

Taste your sanity being torn from your body.

Night tastes as if blood ran from my body

A kiss torn by Lucifer on the Huston, Texas,

 

Route 666 roads because he saw that beauty.

 

We weren’t in Huston.

 

Humans ran amuck getting away from the dead walking to their master.

 

The Blitzed the dead seemed to have

 

Because they were broken to the bone.

 

Caught in between my enemies.

 

The miserable night of evil.

 

He was about as dark as fireflies.

 

We changed fate coming through the door.

 

Nun was their taking his hand into the darkness

 

So that yesterday, tomorrow, and today he could come

 

back for her again.

 

The free dead took him to her

 

his queen of darkness already ruling with him in the dark.

 

I’ll have to forgive him to know what he has done.

 

L'obscurité est la seule lumière de leurs cœurs.

 

Even when the sun comes to congratulate, even the shadows have to die.

 

Even the war can’t conquer the dark love started here.

Inside the Minds of Others

Your way of life has shown me what a fool I've been. We are guilty as charged. My enemies may belittle me, constantly reminding me of the penalty. After all my deeds and despite these pleas is it still death?  Do we mean it when we chant "I wanna get well." Have we hurt bad bought yet? It only a dream right... Test your pulse and check your vitals. With all the battles running through myself I create my own world because I meant it when I said "I wanna get well." Remember it's only a dream, pretend it all away. If it's only a game I've lost me. 

Ticket Stub

My life is torn in half from the begaining. Then I'm placed in a dark box where only a slit of light  comes through where more like me are all placed until the end where finally being moved from this dark prison into a clear prison and counted handled so ruffly the others in here they are form the days work. At least we got to live longer than our other halfs. That may have gotten thrown away crumbled into someone pocket just to make it to the washer then the trash.

Falling, but Flying

Even though you feel like falling. Digging a neverending grave. Look up to the sky, and take the time to fluy. Even though people hurt, worse than any physical hurt. Smile the joy of today. For every book had their story to tell. Some can be bad and some can be worse. Just take the time to read the story, and end up flying like the bird. For yesterday was yesterday and today is today, but tomorrow the sun could come our and play. So even thought they hurt never hurt back stop the cycle take time to relax and fly highter than the bird. Sore up higher then the sky to your dreams, your hopes, So even though you feel like falling take the time to fly even in the darkest places.

Asylum

As I walk through the halls, hearing the overjoyed laughter of others. It seems but a dream its to bright and clouded. Then I remember I'm not in where I once was but locked up in a doengen of delusion, a pit of missery. The laughing I hear was from the shock room rearranging his mind by zaps and zings. Laughing is the breaking point. Pills are the empty path that you an't hide. Taking action I try running to the door but it's hopeless he is gone mouth open eyes glazed over... empty... I scream "monsters!" "Monsters in white cloaks saying you shall, you can help..." I strugle against them pushing and trying to break free. Taken away by the needle in my neck the sweet pain the inject me with. I know where there taking me I've seen it before the white room. Soft and plush with a jacket that restrains my movements they tell you "Its for your own good once you've clam down and won't hurt yourself or the other emates we'll let you out." I know better they know I'm aware of the expreiments and I'll be next in line.